Forgotten Memories, Persistent Love
by leopardstarismyleader
Summary: Something horrible happens to Nowaki that causes him to lose his memories and render him incapable of making new ones. The one thing he can remember is his love for Hiroki. But with a lover who will never remember his face, how will Hiroki cope? Egoist.
1. Problematic

**So we were watching a movie about Clive Wearing in Psychology class, and I was inspired to do this.**

Hiroki flipped his auburn hair out of his eyes, concentrating on the papers in front of him. About four dead red pens were lying next to him, and he was reaching for a fifth. The sad thing to Hiroki was that he was only halfway through the stack.

He jumped out of his chair when the phone rang, its shrill tone interrupting his thoughts on just how stupid his students were.

The assistant professor reached over and grabbed the phone.

"Hello, Kamijou Hiroki speaking."

"Kamijou-san? This is Masashi from the Tokyo Hospital. I'm afraid something has happened to Kusama-san, and you are listed as his emergency contact. Is it possible for you to come in?"

Hiroki clutched to the phone as if it were the only thing keeping him alive.

"W-what happened?"

The woman on the other end paused.

"It'll be easier to explain once you're here."

He nearly threw the phone back on the receiver and grabbed his coat, scattering papers everywhere.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The brown-eyed man burst into the emergency room, panting, out of breath from having run so far.

"Please… please… where is Nowaki…"

A nurse pulled him aside and let him catch his breath, a concerned look on her face.

"First, we need you to tell us something. Has Kusama-san had any really bad headaches recently?"

Hiroki thought back to a few days prior, when Nowaki was complaining about a headache. He had taken some aspirin, and they thought that would have been the end of it.

"Yes, a few days ago."

The worried look on the nurse's face grew more pronounced.

"You see, he collapsed earlier. When we took his temperature, he was at 105 degrees. His brain was literally killing itself from the heat. We cooled him down and got his temperature back to somewhat normal, but he's in a coma now."

Hiroki felt his blood freeze at the word 'coma'.

"A coma… but, do you know when he'll wake up?" The question was desperate, even Hiroki knew that. But he couldn't stop it from slipping past his lips.

"We don't know. I can show you to his room if you'd like."

The auburn-haired man nodded mutely, his lips pressed tightly together in a quickly-failing effort to hold his composure together.

The kind nurse led him to a room and quietly opened the door.

Hiroki felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked at the giant of a man he called his lover, attached to the machines. A steady beeping recorded his heartbeat, and his chest was slowly rising and falling.

The assistant professor pulled a chair up next to Nowaki, and took his large hand in both of his smaller ones.

"Talk to him, it tends to help." The nurse suggested before she left the room.

And so began the months of monologues that would flow past Hiroki's lips. Words of love and regret, stories and rants about the day, nothing was left untouched.

But still, Nowaki would not wake up.

_Seven Months Later_

Hiroki was sleeping, his head pressed into the mattress of the hospital bed. His hands clung limply to Nowaki's, and he was snoring softly.

His head shot up when he felt the large hand twitch.

Hiroki held his breath as Nowaki opened blue, cloudy eyes.

But his heart dropped out of chest when the first words out of his mouth were:

"Where am I? And Hiro-san…" the face broke into a wide smile.

"This is the first time I've seen your face. It's beautiful."

**There will be two more chapters. The next will better explain Nowaki's condition and what happened to him, and the third is an epilogue of sorts.**

**I hope you guys enjoy, I felt this case really fit the personality of both Nowaki and Hiroki.**

**If you know about the case, you will know basically what happens to them both. **


	2. Diagnosis

**Chapter 2: Diagnosis**

**My friends are no help with chapter titles, just for the record. I also feel accomplished that I used the word "plethora" in a Fanfiction.**

Nowaki simply smiled, then turned his head away. His eyes were opened in wonder as he looked around the room.

"It's like… I've woken up for the first time."

His head swiveled back to Hiroki, and his face broke into the same brilliant smile he had on his face when he first woke up.

"Hiro-san… your face is so beautiful. When did you get here?"

"I was here when you woke up…"

Nowaki paused.

"Well yeah, I just woke up, and I'm looking at your face."

"You woke up a few minutes ago…"

"No, I just woke up a few seconds ago. There's nothing before that, I can't remember anything before. It's all new." Nowaki insisted.

Hiroki felt his blood run cold again.

"Nowaki…"

Hiroki was successfully pushed out of the room by a plethora of doctors and nurses. One pulled at the assistant professor's arm.

"Kamijou-san… we think we know what happened to him."

"What?" Hiroki asked, desperate for an answer as to why it seemed like Nowaki couldn't remember anything at all.

"There was a case in England very, very similar to this. The man's name is Clive Wearing, and after he woke out of his coma, he had no memory. The only thing he could remember was his love for his wife, Deborah. He didn't have the ability to create new memories either, and so his life reset every single minute. He always felt like he was reawakening. I'm afraid that Nowaki has this too; brain scans reveal that his hippocampus was destroyed almost completely. The hippocampus-"

"Is the part of the brain that stores and creates memory." Hiroki finished, whispering.

"But… he remembers me…"

"It seems that the one person that the patient loves above all else is the one thing they can ever remember, past language, basic instincts, and muscle memory."

Hiroki dropped to his knees, stunned. Nowaki really cared for him so much that he would be remembered even when all else was forgotten.

"He's already trying to tell us every time he 'awakens'. He also keeps trying to write it down. We'll give him a journal, keep him happy, but there's not much else we can do. He can't return to any semblance of his former life."

Hiroki stood shakily to his feet and walked towards the room, pushing the door open. The doctors and nurses had left during the time he was being informed of Nowaki's probable condition.

Nowaki turned his head at the noise, and smiled that same, brilliant smile.

"Hiro-san!"

"Nowaki…" Hiroki's voice trailed off as his eyes landed on the four entries in the journal that he had been given.

"I have woken up. It feels nice."

"I didn't really wake up last time, THIS is my real awakening."

"I have finally woken up for the first time."

And the last entry, the one that made Hiroki's heart throb with both love and pain, was written larger than the others.

"I love Hiro-san forever and ever."

_What the hell am I going to do now?_ Hiroki thought desperately, meeting the cloudy blue eyes of his lover.

**The next chapter will be the final one, and it will detail Hiroki's answer.**


	3. Acceptance

**Chapter 3: Acceptance**

**So this is the final chapter of this fanfic. **

Hiroki opened the door to Nowaki's room carefully. He poked his head in, and gave his giant lover a smile.

Nowaki's face lit up with pure adoration and love as he crossed the room in a few, quick strides to gather the older man into his arms.

"Hiro-san, Hiro-san." He cooed.

Hiroki returned the hug, placing a soft kiss on Nowaki's cheek.

"Do you want some miso soup? I know it's your favorite."

Nowaki looked at the brown-haired man with confusion.

"I've never tasted miso before, how do you know it's my favorite?"

Hiroki's smile was pained.

"Just trust me, okay?"

The professor got a cup of soup out for himself and for Nowaki. The blue-eyed man took a sip, and his eyes widened.

"Hiro-san, this is really good!"

"I told you so, idiot."

Nowaki laughed, then turned away to place the cup down. When he turned back to face Hiroki, his lips split into a wide grin.

"Hiro-san! When did you get here?"

"I've been here for a few minutes."

"Oh, I'm so sorry that I was asleep when you got here!"

Hiroki smiled softly, and grabbed Nowaki's hand.

"It's okay. Look, here's your journal."

Nowaki brightened again.

"Thank you! I just woke up after all, I need to write it down!"

As Nowaki wrote down that he had "awakened for the first time", Hiroki tried to repress the pain he felt at the sight of the journal pages. Sprinkled amongst the many awakenings were words of love for Hiroki.

But Nowaki never remembered writing them.

As much as Nowaki loved him, he never remembered him.

Nowaki was the same person, yet not.

_I__miss__the__old__Nowaki._ Hiroki found himself lamenting as he watched his lover exclaim over how delicious the miso soup was again.

But at the same time, he knew he could never leave the younger man.

He loved him too much.

So all he could do was work and witness Nowaki's life reset after every minute or so.

Until one of them died, that would be his life.

But he found that he wouldn't mind it, so long as Nowaki continued to love him back.

**I didn't want to get too repetitive, so this is the end.**

**Unfortunately, they won't get their happy ending.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed my tragedy debut in Junjou Romantica, and if you read Katekyo Hitman Reborn, then I have plenty of angst fics for couples in that.**

**~Cinder, aka leopardstarismyleader**


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